Thursday, March 7, 2013

why i will be useless in the zombie apocalypse

So, like many people, I enjoy The Walking Dead. The general badassery of Rick and his crew keep me entertained and I love the scenes where they kill a bunch of walkers. But sometimes, they have to show a scene where the Prison Gang is just getting by - Carol doing the laundry, Hershel doing something medical, and the singing daughter whose name isn't important taking care of the baby. These scenes make me wonder - what role would I play in the zombie apocalypse?

(Is it normal to think these thoughts?)

(And why is Andrea so dumb?)

(Said thoughts also apply to NBC's Revolution. Can't believe they took it off the air for this long. Do I even care about it anymore?)

I have already established that I don't cook. Blood makes me squirm. And, if I were told to keep watch, I would probably run screaming every time the wind blew. Laundry - eh, I would do it, but is that enough to earn my keep? So, I have been thinking about it, and I have tried to come up with some roles I could play should zombies ever take over.

- Stuff-Haver. People would let me into their group due to the sheer amount of stuff I had at my disposal when the world changed. In my purse or in my car on any given day I have bandaids, water, some kind of food or snack, a flashlight, Advil, and Claritin. Perhaps my supply advantage would win me a space in a group?

- Chief Sleeper. Some people can't sleep in times of crisis. I can sleep anywhere, anytime. Maybe my awesome slumbering abilities would influence others to rest when needed (not likely, but I'm working with what I got).

- Group Troubador - When the zombies are at bay and we needed some entertainment, the group could call on me to sing them a fun song. I could cover Madonna or Britney or better yet, make up a song about the personalities in the group. Keep in mind, I can't carry a tune, but I love to rhyme so maybe my creativity could outweigh my lack of skills?

With these as my only options, I am feeling pretty useless. What should my angle be? What skills could you bring to the zombie apocalypse?

(Yes, these are the things I think of while stuck in Houston traffic.)

(No, I do NOT think a zombie apocalypse is going to happen, for the record!)

1 comment:

  1. I haven't watched this season but I have watched up until the end of last season. Andrea annoys me too. I would not be able to tolerate following Rick's orders. AND who names their zombie Apocalypse baby Carl?!


I like comments and read them all but I'm not great about responding to them, so please don't be offended. I would much rather visit your blog instead!