I know it's Wedding Wednesday, but you're getting my favorite honeymoon pic instead.
Granted, I have never lived alone, but I think being married makes my life easier. Two incomes (or a person with extra time to keep up with the house) are amazing, right? And I love that the things that I am awful at, he is great at. He forgot to feed the dog? No big deal, I'm home to take care of it. We need coffee? He can stop at the store. We're going through life together and, while I love that I can be there for him, my knee-jerk reaction is that I love always having someone there for me.
I am not very good wife material. I have written many posts outlining my faults on this blog in a short time. I am lucky to have my husband; he shows his love by doing things for me. I forget to show my love in any good way most of the time. I definitely got married for me in this case. I have a tendency to get caught up in my own head and neglect to be about him more often than I should.
The so-called selflessness of love gets lost in the day-to-day. You get cranky, you have bad days, you step in ants and wonder why he hasn't killed them yet. He can't believe you still haven't done dishes. But you need one another to get through the day to day. He needs me to hop in on one foot flailing like I got bit by a shark and not an ant so he can laugh at my dramatics and I need his... nudging as an excuse to be sassy and ask if he has a sudden water allergy I should know about that has prevented him from loading the dishwasher. You don't think about it and you don't do it for the other person - you do it because it's life and you're married and you're committed, and it's the only way you know how to stay sane.
I don't do silly things with the intention of making my husband happy; I do them because they come naturally to me. If he didn't think bad jokes were funny, then he wouldn't have chosen me. I feel that the writer of the article says that making your partner happy is always at the forefront of your mind, and that just isn't the case. On any given day, the forefront of my mind is filled with turning off the straightener, recent tweets, weekend plans, and wondering where I left my phone. Making my husband happy and feel important and laugh are all very important to me, but I think with the right person and the right situations, it just happens. It's not an active thing - it's just life. I want to try to make him happy, sure, but if watching ESPN makes him happy and watching Parks and Rec makes me happy and I have the remote, whose happiness will matter most in that moment? Mine. And Leslie Knope's.
We got married for us. We value one another, and we like the way the other makes us feel. I don't live in a fantasy world where I think I can make my husband's life better all the time. I just can't. But I can be there for him, and with him, and make bad jokes when he needs one. And when he drives me crazy, I can try to remember all the good he does for me. I'm lucky he chose me. Except when I have ant bites on my feet. Then I wish a slightly more outdoorsy version of him chose me.
What did you think of that article? Who is marriage for, anyway?