Wednesday, March 26, 2014

confession: i'll settle for a tankini body

I love blog friends for many things that I have posted about many times. But, one unintended side effect of widening one's social circle, especially when one is female, is additional people to compare oneself to. I love that I follow bloggers who seem to be from many different walks of life and appear to be in different stages in their lives. But, really no matter who you are, there seems to be a common thing that every blogger has touched on somehow, at least once: their weight/health/fitness. And mostly how they wish it was better or less or something different.

This is where the giant disclaimer comes in that you do what works for you; however, this post is all about me.


You know that saying that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels? Yeah, well I have never tasted skinny but I have tasted french fries and ice cream, so guess which one I will pick every single time? Clearly I like to eat. I can't enjoy a salad as much as I enjoy... nearly anything else on the menu. I do worry, especially with adding the word "eat" to my social media persona, how that is interpreted by anyone who comes across this space, especially those with the "food is fuel" mentality. Do you think I am fat because I have never had a thigh gap? Am I a little fluffier than you could ever imagine yourself being? Do you think I don't know that I could stand to lose a few pounds and go to the gym a little a lot more often?

Guys, I know this. I judge myself enough for all of us and I could nitpick my flaws for hours, I promise. But in looking at life lately, it isn't what has been important to me. Margaritas on Friday night after a long week are important. Surprise cupcakes from my husband are important. Having a bikini body may be your goal, but right now, it isn't mine. Besides, I hate the sun and only swim at my parents' house anyway. Fun fact: the first and only time I wore a bikini as an adult was on my honeymoon. I ended up with a terribly sunburned tummy because I have never had to apply sunscreen there before. I'm not making that mistake again!

If you work out to relieve stress, then cool. I'm jealous. I have never gotten that runner's high and looking for it was too damn tiring. If eating clean makes you feel good, then do it. I like fresh fruit and veggies too. I want to be healthy and I don't go out to eat daily, I do eat salads sometimes, I'm mindful of calories, and I try to choose the lowfat option when I can. I would kill to look like some women look, even on their "fattest" day. I do wish I could blink and look like nearly anyone who has ever dated Adam Levine. But it doesn't happen that way - that body requires sacrifice, and quite honestly, it isn't one I want to make right now. I'm choosing to settle for an imperfect body, sure, but I am trying to look at it as trading that mostly unattainable dream (for me, anyway) for some extra sleep and food experiences that I will in turn share with you. Let's consider it a sacrifice I make for my blog friends.

This. This made me giggle.

So today I confess to you that even though blogs are filled with workouts, recipes, lifestyle changes, and motivational quotes, I'm busy going against that and keeping up the demand for Coke Zero, Ben & Jerry's, and Barilla. But at least I buy the whole grain pasta. The internet has taught me a thing or two.


Linking up with Kathy

36 comments:

  1. hahah this is a great confession! You have to do what makes you comfortable and if you feel healthy/satisfied then you're doing it right. I choose sleep over exercise a lot but then I'm generally a more awake, happy person at work. I think it's worth it.

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  2. LOL this made me laugh. but to be honest, as long as YOU are comfortable with yourself, then everyone else can suck it. nothing wrong with enjoying life and indulging in some great food and drinks. it's all about balance, amirite??

    thanks for linking up!

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

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  3. Hahah, oohh I love this. I totally watch what I eat...and "try" to workout, but I DO NOT get how people can go to the gym every day. And I'm about sick of #gymselfie pictures on instagram. You worked out, great. I hate to sweat.

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  4. I can totally relate!! I want to lose weight, but I just can't deprive myself of everything I love, I just can't!! I wish I could love working out too, but alas, nope.

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  5. Great take on humpday confessions! Margaritas on a Friday and surprise cupcakes are important AND necessary. Just do you and don't worry what some of us crazy ones are doing!

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  6. I'd much rather read about the delicious food you've eaten than working out or healthy eating anyway. I'm lazy so working out isn't high on my priority list, if someone would disguise it as softball I'd be in but exercise just to exercise no way!

    I'm glad you go against the grain you're the only food/lifestyle blogger I follow so your posts are always new and exciting to me!

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  7. This is a great post! I actually love one pieces, ha!

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  8. I'll never be the girl who is cut and fierce. I am happy being the girl who is moving a little bit and not eating EVERYTHING in sight.

    The world is full of too much good food.

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  9. This is such a great post!

    While I am trying to make healthier choices, I feel the same way. I am not ever going to be "skinny." I'm 6'2 and I'm just not built that way. And frankly, I do not care at all. I will walk around the water park in my takini all day long, no shame. You're right though- I feel like I follow a lot of health-minded bloggers. I'm just not one though. No apologies for that.

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  10. I like that you are who you are. I like that you like to eat and don't make any excuses for it. You are healthy. And you're happy. And I think that's all that matters. There are people who obsess over their weight and what they put into their mouths, and I honestly judge that harder than I would someone who eats for pleasure and doesn't go to the gym every single day. I think you're a normal person. And I like normal.

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  11. Found you through the link up...love your blog and am now a follower, come visit me...

    lifeinthelowcountrysc.blogspot.com

    P.S. I've tasted Dairy Queens oreo blizzard, and that is just too good to pass up!

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  12. Yes, cake does taste THAT good. ha!
    If you're comfortable then keep on keepin' on girl! We can rock our tankinis together. And LOL about your stomach getting burned on your honeymoon.
    I love working out and do experience the runner's high weekly, but I don't deprive myself of margaritas and chips and queso afterwards!

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  13. Coke Zero runs in my VEINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I eat healthy most of the time just because it makes me FEEL good... but not because of how it makes my body look - because I feel like that be a VERY slippery slope!

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  14. Live the life that makes you happy not the life society thinks should make you happy! I think it is important to try to be healthy and take care of yourself because part of being happy is being healthy, but being healthy and looking like a magazine are not the same thing. Besides most of those people don't even look like that. Also when I say being healthy, I mean being able to enjoy your life...I'm not in shape to run a marathon but I also can walk for miles on vacation and enjoy myself. I could exercise more because I know it would be good for me so it is a goal but I don't think it will ever be a huge focus in my life. Exercise time can't cut into eating and drinking time :)

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  15. The nothing tastes as good as skinny feels quote makes me cringe. It is such an unhealthy way to think and so many girls use it as thinspiration. On the contrary I really do think cake tastes better than skinny feels! haha.

    Also, I'm with you. I could put more effort into eating healthy and exercising but eating delicious things makes me so happy. I can't get into the 'food is fuel' mindset. I don't even want to. So having an extra layer is a price I'm willing to pay!

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  16. I'd also never be able to completely be a health nut. I love food WAY too much!

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  17. I have accepted the fact that I will probably never wear a bikini. I am like you, I prefer to keep my tummy OUT of the sun. Those burns are the worst! Though, it is no secret that I am on a mission to tone up some. The reason I am not seeing amazing results is that I like to enjoy life too! If Chris wants to go drink beers on a patio on Saturday...I won't turn it down. Date night dinner? I want some NOW! In the end it is all about balancing and doing what works for you but not forgetting to enjoy life too! No one should judge you for that. I battle back and forth with it all the time.

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  18. Haha! Yes! I love to eat too and I'm glad I'm not the only one. I think it's more important to be comfortable in your own skin and happy with your life. Everyone else should just worry about themselves. :)

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  19. I think it's awesome that you are okay with you. That is the goal for everyone regardless of being thin or fat. As long as you are healthy and feel good about yourself I say eat those french fries!! I wish I was there myself. Eating healthy does make me feel better about myself so that is what I tend to do. I care about my dress size but I wish I didn't.

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  20. Hey Lauren!! I'll settle for a tankini body too! I LOVE THAT! And honestly, I just love food. I love getting into shape and taking care of myself, but nothing beats sitting in Boston Market stuffing yourself with sweet potato and chicken ;) xx

    Lisa,xo
    http://chiclittlethrills.blogspot.com/

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  21. Food should taste good! I go off and on the healthy food train but I cheat when I want to. Everyone need to do what they are comfortable with and everyone else needs to shut it! Do you!

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  22. I can definitely relate. I will never be a size 0 and really do not want to be. I like pasta and bread and ice cream and potatoes too much to ever be a super skinny. And like you said, I would much rather have great life experiences, which usually involve food, than be in the gym every day.

    For me, the key is moderation. I eat/drink what I want in moderation. I exercise in moderation. And right now I am the healthiest I have ever been.

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  23. Love this. I do workout from time to time (& by time to time I mean I haven't been to the gym in weeks but I'll get around to it again) & I do try to eat healthy most of the time (but I will never give up food like bacon, cupcakes, & maragritas). I cannot stand when people get super preachy & judgy about what I'm doing with MY body.

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  24. i am an everything in moderation type. you will never see me give up the yummy food entirely - but over all i do eat healthy and work out often so i feel zero guilt when i do want the ice cream or the deep fried goodness :)

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  25. amen sister!
    there is so much truth to this.
    i definitely believe in moderation but never want to be at the point where i'm feeling guilty because i had the occasional icecream or slice of pizza.
    thanks for these words!

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  26. IF I could stay away from sweet tea and anything else that has sugar in it I'd be doing good and if i exercised more i'd feel better. I'm going on 4 weeks with no coke or soda's so you can see why i'm so sluggish.

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  27. Love this confession! You sound truly content and happy with yourself and that's all that really matters. I work out a lot, but not so that my body will look a certain way. I do it because it honestly makes me happy. I don't really watch what I eat, because food also makes me happy. I wish more people had your outlook because it's realistic. You're doing you and owning it!

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  28. Amen! I love this! Way to go! I am with you. Cake over skinny any day. Team Tankini!

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  29. Since having kids, I'm a one-piece kinda gal. No shame! You work whatever body you work for.

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  30. And you know, I think every single woman at whatever "size" can point out exactly what they don't like about their body. Obviously I'm skinny, I recognize that, but I've never worn a bikini, and I never intend to--my husband has encouraged me to, but I wouldn't feel "me" or comfortable. I have my makeshift tankini with a sporty swimsuit tank and running shorts (hey, less chance of sunburn!), and I'm perfectly happy with that. I do NOT enjoy exercise unless it's a game with friends...I do eat fairly well because I really, really like my own home cooking, better than any fast food, and I feel great with whatever my "diet" is. I don't believe it's worth making yourself miserable in order to be "healthy"

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  31. HA! This made me laugh, girlie! And those ecards - dying. But as a fellow foodie, I agree. Even though I workout, I have never and probably will never view food as fuel. Food is pleasure and enjoyment for me. It's one of my greatest loves. Give me chocolate cake over a damn salad any day!...but I do try to keep a balance.

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  32. When I first moved to New York I discovered Wegmans and their amazing bakery. For two months I went into the store once a week and bought myself a birthday cake. Food is good :). If you're happy with you, that's all that matters!

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  33. I've been so MIA but i knew i'd get some laughs coming to read your posts! The title alone cracked me up so much. I have the dilemma where I want to eat everything but also want to be skinny. Moderation is just impossible for me for some reason. I'm either all in or all out sadly :( But in the last couple of months i've adopted this mentality. I still restrict myself some but I need to enjoy life for real!

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  34. I HATE the "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" quote...such an unhealthy way to look at food and our bodies. I love that you know your priorities :-) Also, I giggled at the last picture!

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  35. This so much! I loved everything about this post and I'll just be lazy and say that I feel the exact same way you do. Also, that second e-card made me laugh! I've never seen that one before but I love it.

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  36. I love this! I have found that if I feel good about myself, the numbers matter less. Also, who in their right mind can pass up ice cream??

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