Tuesday, April 29, 2014

what it's like to be in my marriage

If you were in my marriage, you might overshare about nearly everything, except what goes on in the bathroom; that's off limits. You would do your own laundry, but take turns doing sheets and towels. You would refer to each other as "Mommy" and "Daddy" when the pets were being referenced, and mostly as "honey" any other time; hearing your real name come out of your spouse's mouth would either mean you were in public or in trouble. If you were in my marriage, you would both hate bugs, but one of you would tolerate them more than the other and take care of more than their fair share.

I will keep trotting out wedding pics as long as possible. Also I had to steal this from my Walgreens uploads because somehow it never made it onto Facebook... weird as it's a favorite!

In my marriage, there are kisses goodnight and hands held when walking through parking lots; that tends to be necessary when one party is ten inches taller than the other. On many days (the best days), you'll laugh until your stomach hurts over something that isn't funny to anyone else on Earth besides you two. This marriage always has room for bargaining and trades - I'll unload the dishwasher for you if you'll take the trash out for me. When a task is forgotten or pushed to the last minute, a cry of "But I thought that was your job" is almost always a valid excuse. If you were in my marriage, one of you would always be late and blame it on your partner for distracting you while said partner would always plan to leave five minutes earlier to combat these awful tendencies.

If you were in my marriage, you would remember that your partner proclaimed they were "too stubborn to get a divorce" before you even got married. Your partner might not remember it, but you would, and it would help you through the moments they frustrated you worse than your worst enemy could. You would text throughout the day and use those snippets to know what kind of mood the other would be in on the ride home, you would learn when quiet was best, and you would learn when rehashing a problem is the only way to solve it. You would be happy to have a partner at the family gatherings, to do the taxes, and to take the car in for inspection. You would have someone to argue with and someone to surprise. It would be nice to only be alone by choice, because that's how it is in my marriage.

In my marriage, there is one who likes to sleep and one who's always up early, grinding coffee beans and using the fresh-brewed goodness to wake the other with promises of a fun day ahead. There's one who loathes surprises and one who never knows what's coming next. In my marriage, we have been known to bring a sleep mask in the car, blindfold the other, and play a guessing game on the way to dinner. There's one who sees snuggling in the traditional way and one who sees it as their feet in the other's lap. There's tolerance of messes, shirts that are forever food-stained, and unending lines and journeys to try the latest and greatest in food or beer. You'll mostly forgo tomatoes or shrimp because the other doesn't like them at all. That's what we do in my marriage.

Bluebonnet selfie from a few weeks ago.

My marriage is easy yet hard; it's something that we do, for sure, but that also comes easily at this point in time. I refer to it as on cruise control - just keep looking out for what's ahead and we'll continue on just fine. My marriage is mine, and wouldn't work with or for anyone else. I wouldn't have it any other way. 

All relationships are different and should be celebrated. I personally love blog posts that show me what someone else's life is like, so I wanted to give you a glimpse into mine.

28 comments:

  1. i love this! we usually write about light "airy" things but nothing intimate/personal about our lives so thanks for sharing.

    my marriage is lots of laughing, mocking and joking :) in our lives, laughter 2nd to love.

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. Great job, Lauren. This is wonderful!

    I look forward to being in a relationship where you just "get" one another. Too many times I get in to relationships and I make a big sacrifice to be with the other person when the kind of relationship that will fulfill me is the one that I don't have to give up a part of me.

    You said it great "easy, yet hard". You still have to put forward effort - but it's easy because it's what you want to do because you love one another.

    I also loved the snap last night about driving around for beer - haha is that was spurred this idea??

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  3. I love this idea for a post, and seeing what it's like!

    I have a different strokes post in draft on me & MFD, we really are quite different in a lot of ways and I find that interesting. We work because of those differences.

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  4. Love this post!

    I would not have really understood this post a year ago. I have been a confirmed bachelorette all of my life ... until I met Drake. We just seem to "get" each other. I am hoping I can one day say my marriage is "easy, yet hard." I think that means it's working. :)

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  5. Such a wonderful post! In my relationship (we've been living together for 4 years), he takes care of all the bugs, except spiders. He hates spiders. We definitely bargain. And we have lots of snuggles and laughter. :)

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  6. We are also Mommy and Daddy to the kitties. AMAZING post Lauren. I can just picture y'all holding hands. :)

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  7. I love this post!! It is like giving a glimpse in to your dynamics but still keeping lots personal. I refer to Chris and I as mommy and daddy to the pets as well....Chris not so much haha. When Mac acts up I say things like "Your dog is being bad."

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  8. Love the honesty in this post. It's a great glimpse into your life! :)

    Also, my mom calls me mommy to my dog but I'll also call her mommy to my dog. My poor dog probably gets so confused when someone tells her to go to mommy. haha

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  9. I love this so much. It's written so well. It made me smile & actually now I'm almost in sappy tears (I'll blame that one on mother nature though).

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  10. I love that you are both different but very much in it together. One likes to drive all over for a good deal on beer?! Haha!

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  11. This is not only a really great post, but it is wonderfully and creatively written! I love how it shows the simplicities of how marriages function without the grand gestures or the "I love my husband so much" kind of timeline post. Very well done! Not to mention your marriage sounds so very fun and comfortable! The perfect blend!

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  12. What a beautiful post and your writing really painted the picture :-)

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  13. This is such a wonderfully written post, I love how you presented this. Bet I could guess who is up brewing coffee...it would be the same one in my house too ;) P wakes me up every morning with my lemon water or tea :) I love you guys seem to have a lot of fun together, I don't think every couple has that.

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  14. What a great well thought out post, I always wonder what the day to day is like in other people's lives. The stuff that is seemingly meaningless but all that life is really made up of, we never see that stuff in someone else.

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  15. your marriage also consists of waiting in parking lots for.e.ver as the other is on a quest!

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  16. Sounds like you two balance each other out quite well. :) I like the idea of "cruise control."

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  17. :) Yes--I echo your conclusion of "my marriage is mine"--I know I'd rather deal with my own ups and downs than anyone else's!

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  18. I love this post- great idea! You two sound like good complements to one another.

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  19. Just wanted to let you know I nominated you for a Liebster Award :). http://jeansandatiara.blogspot.com/2014/04/liebster-award.html

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  20. I really enjoyed reading this (and I love that wedding pic, too!). What I loved most about this was how you presented it. It wasn't saying Andrew does this and I do that -- it became a guessing game for your readers to figure out who does what and who likes what. Or well, at least that's how it went for me. You two are great together, and I love hearing about it!

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  21. I think this is the sweetest post!

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  22. LOVED this post. I totally agree with each relationship being different and instead of judging other people's relationships, we need to just appreciate the uniqueness of our own.

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  23. Aw wow, Lauren. I love this. Thank you so much for sharing. Xo

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