Wednesday, May 28, 2014

the great unfollow

So I've seen a lot of posts about blog organization and how you read so many and commenting and stuff lately, and I think it's interesting. No two of us do things the same way. However, in all of these conversations, I've come to realize that I am, for lack of a better word... cutthroat. Cue Sweet Brown because really...

found here

GUYS. Blogging is a huge timesuck and as much as I like it, I want to do it as efficiently as possible. And since this is one of those weird things that I don't think any two people do in the same way, I thought I would share my way just because it seems really different and maybe I want to know that I'm not the only heartless jerk out there.

When I fall in love with a blog, sometimes I play it shy by just following via blogger, but these days, I cut right to the chase and follow on Bloglovin. That's a big commitment because I know the blogger will get an email alerting them and everything. But when you know, you just know, right? If I'm on the fence but want to remember them, I just follow via twitter. And I leave a comment of course, because duh.

But just like all the boys you dated back in high school, sometimes the luster wears off. The blogger isn't your thing for some reason, and that's okay. She probably has twenty million other followers and since you don't like make-up reviews or kid posts or recipes (or she posts something horribly insensitive, but that's only happened once) she just isn't for you. No big deal. So, what do you do?

a) Mark as read every day. You FOLLOWED her, and that means something. You're a woman of your word and once you commit, you don't go back.
b) Put her blog in a folder with others you read with a lesser degree of frequency because you never know if she'll grab you again. Hurting feelings and making someone lose a follower is no fun, anyway.
c) Find her blog in Bloglovin, select "unfollow," and don't really think about it again.

If you selected c, then congratulations, you might be a heartless jerk just like me (said in good fun - I'm not actually a heartless jerk. And neither are you). I understand the rationale between the first two choices, but of course I have something to say about them.

With choices a and b, I get it. We all like followers, of course, but don't we preach that we all want readers? We want commenters and a community and if I mark your blog as read every few days, then I'm neither. And it creates an extra step for me, and if you've been here for any length of time, then you should know one of my personal mantras by now - lazy always wins. And yes, I will be the first to admit that as much as I want to say and believe that numbers don't matter, I know they can affect you. I know when I see that little graph in bloglovin dip down, I get a little bummed out. I want to find out who it is and see if I did something wrong. Don't you wish that was an option? I would love to get anonymous feedback from people who stop following me, but I digress... All of this to say that if I stop loving a blog, I unfollow it. I might still follow on twitter and I probably still follow on Instagram, but my bloglovin list is precious real estate and I must get that count down to zero as soon as possible. And sometimes that means unfollowing a blogger that I used to love.

So today, I confess: I'm an unfollower. If I follow then I read and probably comment and I think that's what so many of you want anyway, right? How do you "break up" with a blog?

Linking up with Kathy

33 comments:

  1. i'm a cold heartless bitch and will unfollow without blinking an eye. if i have no interest in their blog and i find myself always marking them as read, then they get removed. like you, i just don't have time to read elevently billion blogs so they get the boot. no hard feelings as i'm sure i get the boot from others...that's just the way it goes.

    i also unfollow with gusto on twitter and IG. don't care if they notice either..although the mute functionality on twitter makes it awesome!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  2. I HAVE MADE THE CUT - yayay! I know, I do too many "mark as read" because I want options, but think I'd be less overwhelmed if I just unfollowed and ripped the band aid.

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  3. I used to never unfollow, but I am a ruthless unfollower now. More on Twitter, IG, Facebook, etc. because it is easier to unfollow on there than on Bloglovin.

    I also feel kind of stalkerish when I find a blog I like and then follow on Bloglovin and all forms of social media. I always wonder if I should limit it to two forms of following right off the bat, or risk looking like a crazy stalker?

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  4. I actually need to do more of this! My biggest problem is that some blogs I follow post an interesting post every once in a while! So I never want to break up completely!!! But I really need to, because my feed gets really long and annoying sometimes.

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  5. I use Feedly as my main blog reader but look at Bloglovin every once in a while. I just prefer the set up of Feedly better (I have a half written post on it) :) I do worry though that people don't think I follow them because it does not show on Bloglovin. On the other hand when you ax them they don't really know, so that is a plus. I try to keep in mind that everyone is not going to have the same interests as me and try not to take it personal.

    I was thinking the other day, what is the typical (sane) number of blogs to have on your "must" read list?

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  6. ooh i want to know who was the one that posted something insensitive haha.
    i am bad about unfollowing because i just dont have time right now. i do have separate groups on bloglovin and if i notice someone on my 'everyday reads' is getting boring, or never commenting, i move them to my other group. then every now and again (ahem, when i know im not entered in a stupid giveaway) i go through and delete almost everyone from that group. really, blogging and commenting takes so much time, and i just cannot be bothered reading or commenting on things i dont want to, you know? life is too short haha.

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  7. haha I unfollow people too but I do give them a chance first. Also I find that things changes as you evolve and the people you once read arent as imp as the bloggers you connect to. and so your reading choices change. Either way a good unfollow never hurt anyone.

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  8. I am more of a "mark as read" person. But I use Feedly instead of Bloglovin, not that it really makes a difference. I am too lazy to unfollow blogs.

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  9. This is so funny, and so so true.I am so bad about using Bloglovin'...I still use good ol' GFC and stop following that way or just scroll on pass. Also, OMG I am reading this from work! I am so happy you aren't blocked! LOL

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  10. This is so funny, yet true for most bloggers, and that's not a bad thing. I have only unfollowed one blogger ever. Honestly, it hurts my feelings (as immature as that sounds) when someone unfollows so I usually do not unfollow. Maybe I need to be more cut-throat. Probably so because in real life I don't give people too many chances to be a friend. Either we click or we don't, and that's probably how it should be in blogging, too.

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  11. We've had this conversation so I love that you posted about it so I can see everyone's answers. I feel guilty unfollowing so I add to a folder and mark as read if diesnt sound interesting. I think I'm not sure when to cut someone loose? When then don't comment back on your blog? If your bored with them? Don't reply to your comments?

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  12. I have unfollowed on Bloglovin, but I usually just move them to another folder designed to be a last chance folder and then end up never checking that folder.

    I'm barely on twitter, so I don't unfollow there. I will sometimes unfollow on FB and most likely on Instagram because I hate when people crap up my instagram feed with a million pics at once.

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  13. I definitely subscribe to 'B' most of the time. I will peruse that list here and there but then I mark as read. Works for me but I totally get just unfollowing too. I don't think that makes you a heartless jerk either. haha

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  14. We talked about this last week :) I finally started unfollowing the people that I have "marked as read" for several weeks without even opening their blog link. Or the people that I will leave comments for but they never respond back.

    Life is too short to read a bad blog...or try to connect with someone who ignores you!

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  15. I need to do that right now currently I have 578 unread blog posts WTF! I cant even deal with that shit!

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  16. I really need to do this. I have way too many blogs on my Bloglovin list. And so many of them end up on the 'Mark as Read' list. I don't think it's bad at all. Not everyone is going to have the same interests.

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  17. Well you know I'm a big fan of the unfollow ;)

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  18. I definitely unfollow once I've decided the blog isn't for me. I'll mark as read for a while and if no posts make me click to read then eventually they are unfollowed.

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  19. I am unfollower too. I also don't have time to follow hundreds of blogs. I just read that someone reads close to 150...yeah I do not have time or ambition to read through a min. of 100 posts a day. Not even sorry.

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  20. I unfollow too... Like all of you I have precious little free time and if I find myself constantly skipping over a blog I just go ahead and jump ship. Also if I take the time to comment, several times/comments and never get a reply... you get the boot, but good. Cause that's just rude!

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  21. Oh yea I unfollow without a second thought. I find that if I've got too many weeks without actually reading a single post then it's time to say goodbye. No hard feelings, just not for me. Keep on keepin on girl!

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  22. I just unfollow. Usually at that point it's not someone I think would give a shit anyway... someone I have little to no contact w/ PERIOD. Plus, I couldn't care less if someone unfollows ME. I mean, it's cool when your numbers go up but sometimes people realize you just aren't their cup of tea, etc... not personal! :)

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  23. I love reading about the unfollow, I'm a jerk I guess. For me if I give you love and then all I hear is crickets for eternity then I'm done. I might still read but better believe I'm gonna unfollow. And you're right, I do just want people to follow me on bloglovin, there I said it. I love those emails. But you know what I love most, side conversations that start from comments, those are the best, that is why I'm here. Care to have a side convo ;)

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  24. I'm an unfollower. Though I have significantly cut down my blog reading recently.

    You made the cut. Congrats. ;)

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  25. I am an unfollower too. No shame in my game. After all, its just the internet! Ya know what really gets me though? When people ASK you to follow THEM! What's that about? I follow what I like, Thank You Very Much! LOL

    Kristen @ Your Beauty Fix

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  26. Once I consider unfollowing, it honestly takes me a good week or two to do the damn thing, but I eventually will. Like you said, if I never read then it's not worth it to keep you on my list. I find it hardest when I've followed because we have mutual blogger friends, but we never made a true connection.

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  27. I'll unfollow too and sometimes I do feel bad about it. Like I really liked this one blogger but after reading her blog for a few weeks, I realized she's either an alcoholic or wants people to think she is. For me blogging is so much fun and I really just want to read blogs that are fun or by with people I feel I have a connection with.

    -Jackie
    http://ournashvillelife.com

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  28. I am a pansy and do the mark as read for far too long before i unfollow

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  29. I use to be this way but then I started using folders, lately I've been thinking I need yet another folder. One for days when I'm so busy I can't stop but there are still 5 or so blogs I don't want to miss.

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  30. I'm an unfollower too, on blogs, twitter and facebook. I just feel like if I don't like it, I don't need it to exist in my world. And I don't care at all when people unfollow me. I don't pretend to think we all love everyone. Great post!!!

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  31. Heartless biatch here too. I unfollow. I want to see blogs on my Bloglovin' feed that I love to read all the time. I've paired it down so much over the last three months. I think I'm down to a quality 30 that I enjoy all the time.

    I'm not trying to be mean, I just don't want to miss my faves.

    I follow blogs I don't love all the time on Blogger. If I happen to be caught up on Bloglovin' and am looking for something to read, I'll pop over there, but let's be honest, I'm never caught up on Bloglovin'

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  32. I've only unfollowed one blogger before (only one because I don't subscribe to many at all) via Bloglovin'. I couldn't relate and something about her posts annoyed me. Anyways, I, sadly, get all nervous and anxious when I read that the people I follow have cut out some of the people they follow. I always wonder: did I get cut?! I mean, I don't post hardly at all and maybe they find that annoying? And then after a little while, I just forget about it until I read they organized their blogs again. Sigh. I am ridiculous.

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  33. I'll totally confess to be an unfollower too! I sometimes sign up to follow blogs because of giveaways and I honestly will give them a chance. But once it is clear that they just aren't my piece of cake, I have no problem unfollowing. I lose followers too sometimes and I accept that I'm probably just not what someone was looking for in a blog. No hard feelings, you know? Also, this reminds me that it is time to weed out my blog follow count on bloglovin' again! Whoops!

    -Kate
    www.theflorkens.com

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I like comments and read them all but I'm not great about responding to them, so please don't be offended. I would much rather visit your blog instead!