Basically, Ann (one of the podcast hosts) wrote an article about an idea that Amina (her bff/other podcast host) had. It's so simple.
I don't shine if you don't shine.
You should really just read the article but basically, the idea is that I can't be my best if I'm not helping you be your best. And who is the "you" here? It's other ladies, my peers, my colleagues. The women I'm surrounded by who I should be learning from but I'm busy nitpicking and disliking and bitch eating crackers-ing.
Ann (we're on a first name basis I guess because we're besties in my head) basically says that when we're calling out other women and comparing ourselves to them, we're just shining a light on our own insecurities. Why not surround ourselves with awesome women who can teach us so much, broaden our network of awesomeness, and improve our own worth? We have to get away from the "there's only room at the top for a few" mentality and stop seeing life as a competition and think more about how every woman at the top helps women everywhere. And shouldn't the goal be to surround ourselves with strong, amazing women with long lists of achievements?
Maybe it's me, but this idea and this article really struck me. I see women tearing one another down all the time in real life (and I know I'm guilty of doing it myself). When I reframe it and see the reasons why it's done - that it could be masking an insecurity or done in fear of losing one's status - it just seems so stupid, so futile, and like such a waste. I'm not promising I'll change. There are women in power or who I perceive as higher status who I will continue to nitpick because I may truly not like them. But it really makes me think. I want to surround myself with people who shine, because I want to shine, too.
"Foregoing the internal ranking system in favor of being your best self and helping your girlfriends do the same was a revelation to me." - Ann Friedman, Shine Theory: Why Powerful Women Make the Greatest Friends