Thursday, June 29, 2017

someone could have told me

I feel like Nora McInerny is one of the many women I want to be when I grow up. She's not an optimist, but not a total pessimist, either. She's a little offbeat and she speaks in tangents. I feel like she is fiercely loyal to her people and could be the voice in my head that narrates my life, only she is drier and funnier and has dealt with a lot of really hard stuff. I saw this tweet a few weeks ago and listened to the ensuing episode of Terrible, Thanks for Asking and have been thinking about it ever since.

So I started thinking about things I wish I had known sooner. Things I wish I had learned before 30ish.

- Like that a job can be more than just a paycheck. You can work in a field you feel passionately about, or do a job that makes a difference. You can be picky in what you do (sometimes, not always) and you don't have to take the first offer.

- A commitment to clean sheets is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.

- The greatest gift we can give to anyone is our time. The time to call or text, or hang out, or to run an errand. To sit and listen. I feel like time gets more valuable the older we get; it's a finite resource with more and more stuff competing for it. Isn't it lovely when someone gives you some of theirs, though?

- And on that note, adult friendships. They're hard to come by and take time and effort to maintain. They show their strength easily when life gets inconvenient.  But the people who get you well enough to share a WTF moment or offer advice when you need it are more of a luxury as you get older, whereas they were just a thing that happened when you're young.

- Everyone needs a hobby.

-It's okay if said hobby costs money. I mean, maybe compulsive gambling shouldn't be your hobby but there is more to life than saving money and watching TV every weekend. Having something that gets you excited makes you an interesting person.

- Flossing is important and you will feel so much better in the morning after you do it.

- You will not wake up one day and enjoy cooking or be a morning person or keep a clean home with minimal effort. Lots of things come with aging, but that kind of magic doesn't.

- Ask questions. Be curious. It makes you informed, and interesting, a good friend, a great job candidate, a listener, a critical thinker. So many things become better when you get beyond the surface.

- Sometimes people just need to vent; don't give them your advice unless they ask. Not every problem is meant to be fixed, and not necessarily by you.

- You need goals, even if they are far off or unattainable. They give you direction.

- Cheap wine is not your friend and never will be again.

- Try the food you think you don't like. I didn't like avocado until I was like 24 since I started hating it when I was 5. I wasted so many years and so much guacamole being stubborn.

And that's just a start. Frame of reference is a funny thing, and my perception is colored by my experiences. What seemed like a revelation to me just days ago may be something you were taught your whole life. And vice versa. Tell me, what is something you wish you had known sooner?


  1. I laughed so hard at the cheap wine one, ain't that the truth. All spot on!

  2. Ahhh I love cheap wine :) The good kind is wasted on me because I don't appreciate it.

    My food tastes also started to change around age 24...I eat much more variety now than I did before.

  3. Clean sheets. Preach. On Sunday evenings, I change the sheets, then me and dog hop in the shower (together, whatever) so we can have clean bodies in our clean sheets. The. Best.

  4. I used to like cheap wine until I ended up with the worst hangover on one glass of cheap red wine. I've never felt so awful!

  5. Yes to the clean sheets, couldn't agree more. Just had this conversation with my best friend, when she asked how often she should be changing her sheets. HA. Great post!!

  6. I truly didn't know that people did not change their sheets weekly until I was in my late 20s. I just always knew to do it, it was taught!

    I had a LOT of grownups. My parents, my two grandmothers, my great grandmother, five close aunts and uncles. I learned a lot from various sources. I did not learn until late though that someone who got a college education is not necessarily smart or a critical thinker. That has bitten me in the ass a few times.

  7. I LOVE clean sheets and fresh towels. The problem is that I also love cheap wine, but I've learned to drink less of it and that's been good for me :)

  8. I really should buy another set of sheets so I can actually wash them frequently...insert shame face. But YES to adult friendships & food changes.

  9. I love this post, but so much YES to this line: "Sometimes people just need to vent; don't give them your advice unless they ask. Not every problem is meant to be fixed, and not necessarily by you." Oddly enough I wrote something almost verbatim many many years ago because it's something I think is important for people to learn, too. I used to think that when friends/family "vented" or came to me about something, it's because they wanted me to tell them what to do. My very best friend once finally called me out on it and said "look, I just need to talk about it, honestly, that's it. I appreciate you trying to help but I really just want to get it out." It stuck with me and made me realize I often want the same, too.

  10. I so agree about time. There never feels like enough, so to give some away freely and happily is a really huge gesture—honestly, one I don't make for just anyone, which might mean I'm a crappy person.

    Yes to adult friendships. Working from home and living in a new city for the last 6 months has thrown that into SHARP relief.

    OMG AVOCADO ME TOO. I didn't even TRY it, I was just convinced I would hate it because I have a mush complex. Then I was like 23-24 and a friend made me try her Chipotle guac and I was forever changed.


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