Thursday, November 16, 2017

thinking about

I have a lot in my head and it can't all be conveyed in tweets and texts. I hate posting on Facebook. I see friends but in person it doesn't always spill out, either. I am starting to miss my work friends, and having someone always nearby to spill the latest thought out to. That combined with not making time to blog just feels like I always have something to say and nowhere to say it.

On blogging
I just need to not care and write what I want and publish when I want and be fine. I need to not feel compelled to follow or comment on someone else's post because they comment on mine and feel like that is an okay decision to make. Doing that - so much reading out of obligation - stopped making this fun for me. It was another thing on the to do list.

But how do you like to keep in touch with your blog friends? I mean I feel pretty connected to many people and I miss our interaction and even if I read a post and choose not to comment (I know, I should comment), I miss that bit of interaction. Twitter is fine but I don't want to be the creeper responding to every tweet (just half, probably) and not enough people instagram story the things I want to see. Is instagram enough? Am I the needy friend here?

On South Dakota
I went to South Dakota for work a few weeks ago and it was an amazing opportunity. I was supporting a summit for the Native community and I learned so much. Like I knew Thanksgiving was a crock of garbage and I realized that the Dakota Access Pipeline was a terrible idea but witnessing these people who have been marginalized for hundreds of years working to keep their cultures alive despite extreme poverty was just... incredible? Inspiring? It was so interesting. We live in a world full of Instagram and wanting the latest, cool thing while these people work so hard to preserve the tradition of their ancestors because that is what's important to them. We went to an area that has a daycare with teachers and elders so that their language doesn't die off. They also have a workforce commission (providing jobs) to build affordable homes so that Native people don't leave the reservation to get an education and then never return because there is no housing. Reservations aren't viable communities so it's nearly impossible to get a bank mortgage. People have to leave where they grew up to further decay so that they can get ahead in life.

I saw a real Powwow and there was no other word to describe it than beautiful. Photos didn't do it justice. I learned about community and welcoming everyone and so much more about inclusivity and reservation life. Oh, and I read Sherman Alexie's You Don't Have To Say You Love Me and it was fascinating. Don't let the poetry scare you off - it was a great book for me to read to and from this trip.

One of the speakers was a water protector and we watched half of this video (SO hard to watch) and again... this is our country? The pipeline isn't the answer, and I can't claim to know what is, but attacking humans who are peacefully protesting with tear gas and attack dogs definitely isn't helping anything.

On the iPhone X
It was literally $2 more per month and my old phone had issues like not connecting to my provider's network, so I upgraded. I like the size of it (larger than my 6, smaller than a plus) and the amount of space so I don't have to delete apps anymore. I haven't used the camera and the animojis are fun for like five minutes but then that wears off. The facial recognition has been hard to get used to, but not as hard as I thought. Getting rid of the home button was a way easier switch than I thought. Just my two cents since I haven't seen many real people talk about it.

On the state of the world
It continues to be a dumpster fire. Okay, so I will admit that I am not always the most news-savvy person and my interest has increased in being aware the past two years. I was in second grade when Clinton was elected president but how did I not know there were some pretty intense rape allegations against him? I knew 45 invited a rape accuser to one of the debates but these allegations were fully glossed over and I think it's pretty justifiable in light of recent events to revisit this. I mean, there are enough awful men in the world but I feel like this is worth our time. And I know I linked to wikipedia because it's the easiest overview but I have done some reading that is pretty damning... if you have a solid defense, I would love to see it.

On Good People
I should save this for Add It To My List, but I tweeted it anyway so it's fine. In the past week, I have listened to the Fresh Air podcast episode with Pete Souza (Obama's official photographer who throws amazing shade) and the Oprah Super Soul Conversations podcast with Joe Biden, which... Joe Biden is like the wise uncle we probably all want. He seems so wonderful and he said his son was his soul and the way he talks about the people he loves is great. And I missed Oprah and her interview style, though she does put words in people's mouths sometimes and that is distracting. It was still great, though. Both of them just reminded me of how easy it was to have a president who didn't take us to the brink of nuclear war using twitter alone... Also, John Lewis needs his voice amplified for as long as he is around. What a human.

On being perpetually awkward
I went to Ulta this weekend to use a birthday coupon and grab a Christmas gift and they were doing an in-store event with It Cosmetics. I thought I should treat myself and let them make me look good and just buy the damn product. So despite slightly insulting me ("are you looking for maybe a better eyebrow pencil color? Are you moisturizing in the morning AND at night?" [Lady, I work from home, I brush my teeth and that's it...]) the anti-redness powder and foundation worked and the eyebrow pencil seemed legit. I picked what I wanted to buy and then "shopped around" so I could peek at the prices because OF COURSE they weren't marked. Couldn't find the price on one so I did a google and thought I knew. Well, I got to the register and I was wrong. I had sticker shock and just couldn't spend the money. I mean I have the money and my husband doesn't care but the point was like... just why is it so expensive and can't something from Target do the same thing? Anyway, so I awkwardly at the register mumbled something about "never mind, guess I'll add these to my Christmas list" and scurried out. And now I need a new Ulta to shop at.

This is a wall of text that was mostly just for me but this is what it's like in my head lately - a bit scattered and a mix of the serious and mundane. Maybe now that I have a phone that works and can hold photos, I'll take more.


  1. re: blogging; just do what you want to do. Don't be worried about it; if you visit them and dont feel like commenting, don't. I comment on a lot of blogs but don't see them or hear from them and that's fine by me :)

  2. In the heyday, I did not fully investigate the Paula Jones incident and now that I have as an adult, I regret that I didn't.

    Do what you want to do on the blog front. Email/text/IG comment to KIT.

    Our trip to South Dakota changed forever how we see the native people, and obviously MFD has taken that further than me. I'm glad you experienced it. I am on FIRE about the pipeline spill in the news...hello everyone told you this would happen you greedy bastards.

  3. I want the IT cosmetics eye cream so bad, but dude, I just can't do it...

  4. QVC is my guilty "noise" channel and holy crap IT cosmetics work great but I'd worry they'd be too heavy on my face. Was it heavy?

    Blogs: I have a very laid back attitude when it comes to commenting. I'll loyally read for days and days but I don't comment unless I have something to add. Or else I'd spend hours and hours every week typing "Preach!" and "Yup." And then blogging becomes a job.

  5. I am all for blogging serving your purpose and nothing more! For us bloggers who don't do it for money, it's totally ok to just do the bits you want and say sod it to the rest. If anyone wants to feel petty about return comments etc that's their bag :)

    I always enjoy posts like this so do it as often as you like...or not...!

  6. I've been in a weird blogging rut lately, too - and it happens. I never want to quit or fully stop, but I REALLY need to get better about not caring about adhering to a certain posting schedule. There are some great bloggers I follow who post sporadically, and that's OK. If I don't have anything to say for two weeks, well, that's just how it's gonna be. I see some of these bloggers post DAILY and...I just can't.

  7. I hear you on Ulta sticker shock. Can I be nosy and ask which one you passed on, though I'm guessing it was the foundation. I have their IT brow pencil and it is pretty awesome. But even the cost of that isn't something I'm certain I want to keep shelling out when NYX has one for $5-7 and I love it.

  8. I was wondering about the iPhone X. I don't know anyone who has it yet. Of course Chris wants it but is holding off for now. Mainly because he bought the new Xbox One X this month lol. This is your blog, you do what you want and don't let anything hold you back! I despise when certain cosmetic people are in Sephora and Ulta but aren't forthcoming with prices because as much as I want to look good, some stuff just isn't worth it to me. You know?


I like comments and read them all but I'm not great about responding to them, so please don't be offended. I would much rather visit your blog instead!