Tuesday, July 30, 2019

a schedule as self-care

For the longest time, I have blamed not blogging on many things, but often our ancient MacBook that made me want to throw it across the room every time I touched it. Only I am too weak to get it to go anywhere. It really is that old and heavy.

I wanted a chromebook because I have a laptop for work and just needed something to online shop on. I hate tablet and phone shopping. So I almost just bought one on Prime Day but Andrew's partner in all things BBQ works for a maker of technology and had said he could loan me one indefinitely, so here we are. If it's free, it's for me.

But back to the point of the story - I am now out of excuses and have to face the hard truth: I have forgotten how to write a blog post. Do I write a story? A list? Can I repeat things you may have already seen in instagram stories?

Not sure what the answer is here, but I guess I can share some things swirling in my head.

I've been thinking a lot about self-care and what it means to me vs. what it means to the internet. I feel like the internet equates it with facemasks and bubble baths, and cool if that works for you. What works for me - or at least, works lately - is being more intentional with my time and knowing where it goes. I don't really follow any of those financial gurus but I know part of their thing is to pay yourself first, and I am trying to do that with my time lately. I'm thinking about where my time goes and how I want to spend it. I opened a page in my journal and imagined how my time would be spent on an ideal work day. It was something like this:

7 - 8: Wake up, feed cat, do something I want to do or that will make my afternoon better (journal, scroll the internet, load the dishwasher, meal prep, walk the dog, watch GMA). The goal here is to get up and do something, not sleep until 8 a.m. and then roll out of bed and go upstairs to stop working.

8 - 4: Work. I work from home every day and usually just eat at my desk. Since this is an ideal day, I would get something personal done like a load of laundry, throwing food in the crockpot, making an appointment, or something else productive.

4 - 7:30: My goal in this 3.5 hours is to make and eat dinner, go to the gym, and walk the dog. This doesn't always work since sometimes I lay on the couch at Bauer's insistence when I'm done working and stay there way too long. Some dinners take forever to make after the gym and some days Andrew cooks and I end up with extra downtime. Stuff like that. But that's the goal.

7:30 - 10: Hangout time with Andrew, usually watching baseball or something on Netflix. Just regular evening downtime, but in reality this is when I usually do dishes, shower, and stuff like that.

10 - 11: Read in bed time. I need this time to wind down or else I can't sleep.

For whatever reason, seeing this written down has helped. I know where I want my gym window to be, and I look at the class times for the classes I want to take, and I try to choose dinner prep that fits in those windows. I try to force myself to get up and do something at 7 a.m. instead of lounging til 8:00. I have also found that I feel better if I moisturize, use some brow gel, and put on mascara in the mornings. It makes work calls where everyone shows up on video much less awkward. It also lets me know where I can do better or should do more. Like I should factor in some time for using my HeadSpace app or jotting something in my bullet journal each day. Having days that closely resemble my ideal days feel like an accomplishment now because I know I got all the things done I need to feel good. And I guess, that's my self-care.

As a whole, I'm trying to be more conscious of how I spend time. I joined a volunteer program because honestly, I have a lot of time that I spend doing nothing and I could use it for something better. I did my first volunteer shift over the weekend and really enjoyed myself. I'm creating a niche for myself at work to better account for my work time. My word of the year for 2018 (not a typo) was Intentional and though I am a little late, I think I'm really living into it now. Better late than never, I guess.

1 comment:

  1. Self-care is a weird thing. I think forming habits that we stick to no matter what, like a schedule, make the difference.
    I legitimately think we're the only generation/group of people in history who have even made this a "problem" lol.

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